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How we make others feel unwelcome at church

Church is a place where we are all supposed to be welcome but quite often it is not. It is not something that is done purposely but it happens anyway.

I take Leo to church every sabbath and he enjoys it especially the crafts. Lets just pretend the tantrums do not happen, lol. They sing different songs and last week one of the songs bothered me. It talks about the make up of a family, having a father, mother, sister and brother. How everyone is happy together.

Like any other church we have many two parent homes with brothers and sisters. What is also true is that, there are many one parent families or the grandparents take care of the children. I started thinking about how the children who do not come from “perfect” families feel. Do they feel left out or less than? I pray that they do not.

And some people just do not have families.

I have been a Christian all my life and without thinking about it I know that the head of the house is the husband. But this is true for only a fraction of congregations around the world. Many families(in and out of the church) are headed by single mums. These women head their families, very well if I may so. It is not often that the preaching includes women headed households. Given that you have more women go to church than men, my assumption is that on any occasion you have more female house heads than male in the church at any given time. I know what the Bible says but the reality is that many households are headed by mums and the preaching and teaching should reflect that.

I find that some church members make it look as though there is something wrong with someone being single at a certain age. I don’t get it when someone puts pressure on a single person to get married. They may mean well but I would rather someone be happy with who they are, married or not. I think if someone wants to be single all their life, let them be. Don’t make them feel bad about it. If they tell you it’s bothering them, then pray for them and with them. Otherwise let them be.

The problem is unless you are affected it may be difficult to see that there is a problem. Most churches(not just Adventist) are headed by married men and they may be blind to all these things that I have mentioned. Which is why we need more women to be able to speak up at church and have more ministries that cater to everyone. For example a single mums ministry.

I want the church to be a place where we all can be welcome without compromising God’s word. Sure there are certain rules and laws that we are all to obey but I also think we should do more accomodate people from different backgrounds and situations. We need our churches to cater to the needs of the reality of its congregants.

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