Last weekend I came across a twitter thread that was talking about “black tax”. “Black tax” is when someone helps you pay for school and when you are older and working you give them money on a regular basis. The black part assumes that this happens in black families.
The thread made me think about my own life, the help that I have received, directly and indirectly and how I help others
I think all black African people have had someone help them out with school or money at some point in their life directly or indirectly. Up until colonisation most Africans did not have any bills to pay or school to pay for. My history is rusty but it was only after people had to pay hut tax and other such taxes that people went to look for work. The more educated you are the better job(money and otherwise) you would get.
For instance in my family, my great-grandfather went to work in Bulawayo and made some money that he used to send his oldest children to school. The oldest children then helped send the younger children to school. My father was helped by his uncle and aunt to get through school until he was working and he helped others too. The help was passed on.
As it happens some people help you more like an investment to themselves. They will help you pay for school so that one day you will look after them. This is just wrong. I believe when you help someone do so because you want to without getting anything in return. Not even a thank you. If you want your money back then be clear that you are giving them a loan with or without interest. Of course doing business with your relatives is never a good idea. If you watch someone else’s kids and you are doing it so that next time you need a babysitter they do it for you then let them know. Chokwadi hachiputsi ukama(the truth does not break a relationship).
Never do anything out of duty but love. If you do anything out of duty then you set yourself up for disappointment.
What if someone asks for help with school fees and then you see them having a night out? To be honest, I hate when that happens. I am not going to sponsor someone’s night out so no one will ask me to. Its likely they will ask for something that I think is important. If or when I find out I will rant and rave in the shower! It is dishonest but truth is once I give you money or whatever else I can not and should not control what you do with the money or my help. Truth is if you squander help given to you then it is all on you!
Growing up, we always had people come to our house. Always! I hated that. In my head my parents were spending so much money buying food for all these other people when I should have been using that money to get the latest shoes that time. I shared with dad what I was feeling and my dad sat me down for a lecture. He always does that to me. Always! He acknowledged that it was true we were always helping someone and him being a policeman and my mum a nurse meant that there was not a lot of money to go around. However, he reminded me, I had never lacked food, clothes, medicine or school fees. How was that possible? My father learnt from his uncle who helped him through school that when you genuinely helped someone you would never lack yourself.
I realised then it was true that some how my parents had a comfortable life and at the same time helping others. My parents are not rich and never had excess but had enough to live a content life. God made it enough!